It’s been awhile since I have written anything. Many times a day, I have this desire to write. I picture my blog in my mind and something inside of me is saying, “open up your blog and write” but I always brush it off because I don’t have anything to write about. I have not felt inspired by anything and I can’t think of specific topics to write about. I always ask myself, “how can I write when there is nothing to write about? If this is truly what I am to do, then why do I not feel inspired?”
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:6 NIV)
This scripture perfectly illustrates what I have been experiencing when it comes to writing. I just keep going back and forth, side to side, just like a boat swaying on the water. I feel a pull and I receive what I believe is a word from God telling me to move forward and write. I feel inspired and empowered. Then soon after, the doubt begins and I begin to move in the opposite direction. I keep telling myself that I am not qualified to do this. The content of this blog is not good enough. I’m hearing God wrong. I’m not ready. I need to have the right message before I write anything of value.
Then I ask myself if any of these thoughts are my own or are they the lies the enemy is telling me to keep me from doing God’s will for my life? If I truly believe God and that he has called me to write, then why am I having such a hard time actually writing? Maybe it is because I am depending on myself and my own skills and God is showing me how much I need HIM to help me.
I have never felt like a gifted writer. I’ve always been drawn to write and kept journals for years but it was never something I felt I was good at and certainly not something I thought I would pursue. I always wrote for myself and never had any intention of showing my writing to anyone. I was good at math and science and was drawn to music and the arts. English was always my weakest subject. So why would God use ME to write?
Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. (1 Corinthians 1:27 NLT)
Then the answer comes to me. If I was a gifted writer and felt like I had the right skills and qualifications to write, then I would not need God. My success would be a reflection of my own skills. But if this is something that in the natural I don’t seem qualified to do and I am successful, then the credit can only be given to God. It would be a testament to His strength, not my own. With that in mind, I open up my blog and go ahead and start writing, trusting that God will give me the words I need.
Then suddenly I have the inspiration that I was looking for…
Is there something in your life that God is calling you to do? Have you experienced doubt on whether you heard God right? How have you overcome the lies of the enemy?