Growing up, I had so many dreams and ambitions, but in my quest to meet perceived expectations coupled with my desire for security, I strayed from them.
I spent so many years trying to find my place in life, but never felt like I belonged. I knew from a young age that I was unique and I wrestled with the desire to not follow the crowd while also longing to fit in with those around me.
As a teenager and young adult, I would set aside my interests in the name of fitting in with those around me. I would take on whatever the behaviors and interests were of those around me, but it just never felt right.
When deciding on a career path I chose what I considered to be the safe and secure route while secretly longing to follow the dreams in my heart.
Deep inside of me was a rebel who wanted to forge her own path, but after years of trying to fit in with those around me along with my desire for security, I felt I had lost who I was.
Since I began my walk with God six years ago, I have been on a journey of self-discovery, learning more of my true nature while growing in our relationship. I rediscovered some of my interests and found new hobbies. I’ve learned more about my strengths and weaknesses and how my past has shaped the person I am today. As a result, I’m gradually giving myself permission to be the unique person God created me to be.
God uniquely designed each of us for a purpose and our journey will not be the same. We all have distinct gifts and talents, different backgrounds and stories, and no two of us are alike. God loves variety and it is apparent when we look around at His creation. He also loves community and created His children to use their gifts to help each other.
I’m learning that it is ok to feel different. It’s ok to have different interests than those around me, including my own family. It’s ok to not be satisfied with where I am and have aspirations to do more. It’s ok to explore my interests and find what brings me joy.
This journey has been like a puzzle, with each new piece slowly coming together to paint a beautiful picture of God’s purpose for my life. Each new discovery has provided a little more clarity and I’m looking forward to what the Lord will reveal next.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.Ephesians 2:10 NLT