If you had to describe the year 2020 with one word, what would it be?
For me, that word would be…ANXIETY.
The year started out just as any other, full of hope for what a new year would bring and this year was extra special as it was the beginning of a new decade. My husband and I were overjoyed with the news that we would be expecting our third child in the fall and we were full of excitement and anticipation of what was to come, but then life as we knew it ceased to exist.
During the spring, as the uncertainty surrounding COVID was beginning and things started shutting down, I was entering into the second trimester of my pregnancy. The unease associated with the risk of pregnancy complications was about to be compounded by a new set of concerns, including the unknown of what would happen to my unborn child if I were to be exposed.
Circumstances were changing daily and there were so many unknowns about the future. Concerns related to our health, finances, and childcare, not to mention the state of our nation made it easy to be filled with anxiety regarding almost every aspect of life.
Trusting God during that time was a daily battle and I felt powerless to stop the constant worrying. My prayers during that time mostly consisted of pouring out all of my fears and concerns and ended with a weak declaration of my trust in God, in a desperate attempt to ease some of my anxiety.
Thankfully with God, faith as small as a mustard seed can still move mountains (Matthew 17:20) and with each fear that I experienced, God had an answer. Although we faced many uncertain circumstances, everything ultimately worked out for good. Despite my worrying, I delivered a healthy baby girl, we experienced financial breakthroughs, and my husband was able to change his work schedule so that someone would be home at all times with our children.
Recently I was reminded of the promise God made to Joshua and the Israelites: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NIV).
It was as if God was telling me, “See? I told you I would take care of you. I told you everything would work out just fine. All you had to do was trust me.” The Lord was reminding me that during this long season of unknowns and anxiety, even though I lacked faith, He remained faithful.
We don’t have to have perfect faith for our perfect God to act on our behalf. We serve a faithful God who promises to be with us always. He promises to never leave us or forsake us and to work everything for our good and his glory, so when we are faced with seasons of uncertainty, we can rest in those promises, knowing that our faithful God will take care of us.
Now, looking back and seeing all that God has done in my life, my word to describe 2020 would be…FAITHFULNESS.